Time now is 1.50 a.m. Boy am I glad that I’ve cleared two of my major assignments. I just finished Children’s Literature exam on Monday.  Surprisingly, it’s easier than what I expected. One subject down … Four more to go!!! It won’t be long before the holidays and I hope I can get through this. I know it’s kind of early to say it but I actually made a list of the things for this miserable holiday season.

1)      I wish that people would stop finding faults with me coz I don’t think it’s necessary to waste my life dealing with stupid things.

2)    Enforce my message on some morons who still ask me about things between me and my ex. I don’t understand how some people still expect me to be with that dude when we’ve broken up for more than a year. I wish they would just shut the hell up and find someone else to bang around.

3)    Clear my old stuffs and sell them away quickly. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, but I’m always busy with school.

4)   Venture more into cooking and baking. Food is all about love and I want to show my love to the people around me … through their stomachs.

5)    Travel!!! Anywhere is fine, if it’s possible as long I can escape Singapore. But it seems that I might not be able get the chance. I hate seeing the same faces everyday!!!

6)    Catch up with some people whom I really adore coz it just feels like a century since I last met them.

7)     Get good grades so that I can transfer to a good Uni in USA!!

8)    Dress!!! School’s graduation dinner is coming and I want to look GLAM!!! But I’ve set a budget as well coz it’s just pointless to spend so much for one event.

9)    Save up for Nintendo DS Lite or Nintendo Wii!! Actually Nintendo Wii is waaayyy awesome!!!

10)  Get a new mp3 player. Still considering this … but it seems that only i-Pod provides the best selections and I’m not a big fan of that brand.

11)        New purse. Time to put my old Jack Skellington wallet to rest.

12)       New shoes!!! Not just heels, but sport shoes and sandals too!!

13)      New bags and clutches!!! My bags are wearing out!!!

14)      New make-up sets ... Something I can’t live without!!

15)       X’Mas prezzy for my sis.

16)      Cut down on binge eating and drinking … I definitely need to control myself. I must stop drinking after Random III … until I lose some weight.

17)       New nighties and garments.

18)      Keep up with the latest anime that I’ve been missing out.

19)      New piercing. I know this sounds lame, but I’m having a skin irritation from my right ear.

20)     Finally … FOIE GRAS!!! I don’t care what it takes as long as I get to eat it and, it must be fresh and tender!!!

21)       Hair extension … just a lil’ bit of blue or purple. Don’t know why but I just want to look different for once.

I guess that’s all. I know the list is odd since there are 21 of them. I mean … the number does coincide with the age I’m turning to in 3 months time. But when I look over them again, majority of them are just personal things to make myself feel good. One thing that I really want is just to go MIA and nothing else. It doesn’t matter even if I were alone coz the way I’m living rite now is not helping me in any way. People ask me whether I’m ok and I just said “YES, Don’t worry about me”. The truth is that's always not the case. A white lie will always be the most convenient answer. Everyone will be saying the same things: “Hang in there” or “Please take good care of yourself”. So I’m sick of listening to the same old stuffs.

Somebody told me before, “What's the point of holding onto a friendship when the other party doesn't even give a fuck even though both of you are drifting apart?” Actually, I don’t give a damn either coz I already sensed it from long ago and my efforts to communicate with the other party were useless. Enough of craps like “Yeah I hope to see you soon” and “I miss you! Let's meet!!”

If you want to meet me, then you should start doing something about it instead of just saying it. I realized that people who do this are only associated as “Far acquaintances”.  These morons will just pop out of nowhere and approach me when they are bored and lonely or need my help. I don't need many friends. Those who stick around, matters more to me.

I think the same case can also be referred to this lame term called “LOVE”. I see it as a circle and it’s never eternal. The beginning is always fresh as a rose, but throughout the progress, things may end up in bitter or awkward manner. To those of you who feel that you’ve found “THE ONE” for yourselves, then good for you. No offense though, but why lead your life so superficially? I think there’s more to life rather than immersing yourself in commitments like marriage and starting a family. We are all going to die anyway. As far as how I’ve witnessed things in life, humans will always want to gain benefits. In marriage, they will always expect:

a)     Financial securities -> If there’s no assets, do you think people still have the guts to flaunt their wealth to the whole world?

b)    Pleasure from heavy sexual activities which happens mostly once in a blue moon. Unless one side of the party becomes unfaithful and starts fucking around with another affair.

c)     Children to continue the family line -> The convenience of having children is so that everyone can be dependent on one another until they die. In another retrospective, things can be different if we apply Plato’s teachings from The Republic: “Separating children from their natural parents since birth”

d)    Social standings -> I’m sure that many people can’t live without it. Thus the reason why so many brainless morons enjoy kissing other people’s asses.

Now, that’s just something I derive from my observations. Like what I’ve said beforehand, “No offense”. So don’t take it seriously if you don’t agree with me. My views just happen to be different and I still believe in the freedom of choice. In fact, I actually admire couples who are just contented with each other’s company and don’t believe in having kids. Oh … and I used to think that pre-marital sex is sinful, but when we look at what’s happening today, it is something that will never be avoidable. Some people just can’t contain their infatuations and they need to let it out. One dude used to tell me that if you really like the person, then just do it. But can you really trust the other party wholeheartedly, if you want to get into that stage? That’s just something I can never comprehend how some people can still survive, till today. If not for the bible teachings and the STDs, maybe I would have dared myself to find out more. Hahahahahaha!!!