Woot!! It’s finally summer and I’m so elated that I don’t have to come to school for classes. Being occupied with personal matters, it didn’t cross into my mind that I have been missing out a lot on new things. But I shall not go into details of my disappearance because I have no obligation to do so.

Anyways, I’ve finally completed all the credits needed for my transfer and ready to apply for colleges. I really hope I can leave for the States by January 2009. I’m willing to take any chances given, wherever it takes me to. Most importantly, I want to learn the course which reflects my passion. I’ve been holding back for so long; and this time, I want to make sure that things work out. Dad has left this world and everyone now has future plans of their own. Most of my friends have also left for good - it feels kinda empty and awkward without them around. Still, I feel really grateful that they’re there during the lowest point of my life. If not for them, I wouldn’t be able to survive this semester.

Life is really unpredictable. We only realize how precious life is until we see something near us disappears. In retrospect, I have changed a lot over the past few months and learned not to expect too much. During my most recent setback, I realized that the people whom you expect to be here for you … never exist at all. Strangely, it’s the people whom I’m not close to are the ones who have been giving me emotional support, while those whom I’ve always thought to be loyal for a long time … they  just ditched me. I guess it doesn’t pay to be kind after all. Plus …it’s sickening to live such a monotonous life, seeing the same stuffs and people bugging me over stupid things. I neither want a life full of obligations nor constantly do things just to please people. Unfortunately, this always happens when people feel distanced, and they try to gain the so-called lost attachment by controlling and using unnecessary faults as personal attacks. It’s so ironic that they continue struggling for control over something, since clearly they are not in control of themselves. 

[To Aaron, Sajib and Maman … I’m sure you guys know what I’m talking about after that incident]

Now back on the track, I have been working on and off for my school to kill some time. I don’t earn that much and they take such a long time to process my wages, but at least I get the exposure to try different types of jobs available. So now, I am looking at how I can make use of this summer vacation, apart from handling my college applications. I want to rebuild my life in my own ways and ensure that I get to go where I want to go, in a piece of mind. As what Aaron and Sajib have told me last time, “Listen to one, do another, it’s your life, to whom it’s the end are you. So never fear because life moves on”. I just want to be happy, so I always keep my options open and not bind myself with rules. In other news, I’m gonna meet Herman in a few weeks. I can’t wait to go over and chill out with him!! Five years of friendship and still counting … I’m so happy that I have such an awesome buddy whom I can bullcrap with, and he’s the only guy who can go shopping with me!! Woooo Hoooo!!! Two weeks over there and I’m so excited!! I’m really looking forward to these moments and not to forget, the new beagle!!! No curfews … No need to answer stupid phone calls … No rotting around … No errands … No need to deal with irritating people!! Nooooooooo neeeeeeddddddd!!! Muahahahahaha!!! 

I just dreamt of that last Holy Communion again. I miss you NORAA!! Not to forget the rest of the peeps: Vin, Jess, Kaori, Sajib, Kevin, Janet, Mika, Rohan, Maman, etc. I love you all!! Thank you for everything!!

Currently listening to Viva La Vida by Coldplay